I said I would use this account for emo journals. You were warned.

Scy feels emo today. For a few reasons.

I don't like highschool. ._.

Most of the people in my classes are assholes. They curse at each other, and the teachers, leave class without saying a word to the teacher, don't do any work and then complain about their grades, then go around insisting they're never disrespectful and that it doesn't matter because they're joking. Is it just me, or do a lot of people these days need a good boot to the head? *sigh*

Besides that matter of minor annoyance, I'm having my own issues. ._. I'm not the kind of person who makes friends easily, mostly because I have a very unique set of interests and partly because I'm apparently horrible at making myself understandable. So I have, at my school, 3 or 4 people I might consider friends. One I hang out with all of the time, though I get the distinct impression she'd be happier without me around.

Anyway... seemingly vastly unrelated subject, I graduate highschool next year and a bunch of my classmates are planning a trip to Cuba for a week after grad, everyone's invited. I wanted to go a lot and my close friend didn't, and I bugged her a bit and she decided to go and got the money and everything up and then the two people organizing it switched things around to make it more affordable and better...

And someone else we know decided they were going to make their own group trip to the same place. I didn't really hear a thing about it, but it's their trip for their friends so it makes sense, and my close friend is going with them. Which is great for her and all. I've been asking around about the changed trip, the first one, and it seems like anyone else I know doesn't want to go anymore and it's only going to be people I don't really know, druggies, whores and boozers so I don't want to go anymore ._. but I really was looking forward to it. ... And yet my luck always sucks that way so it doesn't matter.

But the other thing is that I am somewhat overweight. A lot of people would say that's putting it lightly, but others insist it's not, so I don't know what to say about my damned weight. Either way I wanted to get into better shape so I could look good and not feel like a fucking wallrus in a swimsuit, and now my efforts feel wasted (not that I got anywhere, I suck at that as much as anything else) and I can't motivate myself to keep trying it even for my own health. Woo. Not that it's really possible that I could look the least bit attractive no matter what I do.

Couple that stuff with my friends picking on me, probably in what should be a friendly way but I'm depressed and I can't take anything as a joke, and I feel like the world hates me.

This has been another emo scy jounal. Feel free now to call me an idiot and say I don't know shit about life and I'm just a stupid emo teenager. -.- lord knows everyone else already has.

And if my friend happens to read this then sorry I couldn't say it face to face, but yah, it bugs me. But it's fine. You have more friends than I ever will, and you want to hang out with them instead of the emo tag along who wastes your time. You'd probably be better off if I stayed at the other school.